Have you ever picked up a diary or journal that you wrote a year, two years, or even three years ago? Boy is it interesting! A little less than two hours ago, I stumbled upon a journal I kept from a little over a year ago. I just read through every entry before writing this blog, and I can’t help but notice how much and how little I have changed in the course of a year. Reading through each entry was even more surprising and interesting than the entry before it. I didn't read my own journal because it was well written, heck, it couldn't have been any less grammatically or punctually correct. I read it because it was my life one year ago. Where were you one year ago? I can tell you exactly where I was. I was crazy about the girl I am still crazy about now. I was surprised with how easy my senior year was starting off. I was making a promise to myself to keep my notes neat and clean (a promise I would habitually and unknowingly break throughout the year). And I was looking forward to the senior play Arsenic and Old Lace. That's what was going on in my life. Where were you? What were you doing? What were you thinking?
I found that reading the journal of my past year was, putting it lightly, extremely interesting and insightful. It was interesting because I was reading my thoughts exactly a year ago. I read everything I was going through, and everything I struggled with, and everything I overcame. It was insightful to me because, besides putting what happened day by day in each entry, I put how I felt about what happened during that day. I was upset a couple nights, on cloud nine sometimes, and even depressed on other days. I can literally see the ups and downs of my last year like a scatter-plot graph, going up and going down.
Looking back, I am glad I kept a journal. If not for the sake of venting, which reading some of my entries I did quite often, then for the sake of being able to read it exactly a year later and say, “I got over that, and it wasn’t even important to begin with.”
"Boy, how this past year was so interesting." I get the feeling I'm going to be saying that again a year from now.
Monday, October 16, 2006
don't lose touch
Originally posted October 16, 2006
Carpe Diem. In latin it translates as "Seize the Day." I wonder how many people outside the Terminal Cancer Wing of a hospital actually take that saying to heart and live it to it's truest meaning. Another popular phrase is "Make Someday - Today." I used to talk with one of my friends about how if I added up every memory I have, in all the eighteen plus years I have been on this earth, that it would only amount to maybe a little more than a two or three months. How easily I have been inspired in the past to seize the day and do something worth remembering and smiling or crying about later.
On each of my birthdays I take a year-long stroll down memory lane to see what I have accomplished and what I have overcome. What strikes me as sad is that I can only compile maybe a few weeks of memories. How badly I want to go back in time and re-write my own personal biography to make my life more interesting and meaningful.
I've also heard of a saying that went something like don't contemplate on the past, it's over and done with - live only for today and live it to the fullest. How I would love to practice what I preach, and how I would love to say something I didn't say, or do something I didn't do.
We are formed and defined by what we do and what we didn't do. I commonly tell me friends who are struggling with relationships to always keep in mind that more often than not people believe they are doing what they feel is right. No one can help how they feel, and to get upset at someone for how they feel won't really accomplish anything. People can't help how they feel and how they feel influences how that act. Always keep this in mind when in a relationship and don't hold it against them.
Everything always works out for the best. Not one thing in my life, no matter how horrible it seemed, has turned out for the worst. Sure, I miss some things more than life itself, but you jut always got to keep in mind that God knows best. The only thing I can ask for is patience to see it through, and for strength to accept it. That's all. Nothing else.
Moral of the Post: Be yourself. After that, all you gotta do is not look back.
Carpe Diem. In latin it translates as "Seize the Day." I wonder how many people outside the Terminal Cancer Wing of a hospital actually take that saying to heart and live it to it's truest meaning. Another popular phrase is "Make Someday - Today." I used to talk with one of my friends about how if I added up every memory I have, in all the eighteen plus years I have been on this earth, that it would only amount to maybe a little more than a two or three months. How easily I have been inspired in the past to seize the day and do something worth remembering and smiling or crying about later.
On each of my birthdays I take a year-long stroll down memory lane to see what I have accomplished and what I have overcome. What strikes me as sad is that I can only compile maybe a few weeks of memories. How badly I want to go back in time and re-write my own personal biography to make my life more interesting and meaningful.
I've also heard of a saying that went something like don't contemplate on the past, it's over and done with - live only for today and live it to the fullest. How I would love to practice what I preach, and how I would love to say something I didn't say, or do something I didn't do.
We are formed and defined by what we do and what we didn't do. I commonly tell me friends who are struggling with relationships to always keep in mind that more often than not people believe they are doing what they feel is right. No one can help how they feel, and to get upset at someone for how they feel won't really accomplish anything. People can't help how they feel and how they feel influences how that act. Always keep this in mind when in a relationship and don't hold it against them.
Everything always works out for the best. Not one thing in my life, no matter how horrible it seemed, has turned out for the worst. Sure, I miss some things more than life itself, but you jut always got to keep in mind that God knows best. The only thing I can ask for is patience to see it through, and for strength to accept it. That's all. Nothing else.
Moral of the Post: Be yourself. After that, all you gotta do is not look back.
college < chinese algabra
Originally posted September 21, 2006
I am pleasantly unsurprised by how my school year's been going so far. I planned on it going well. Not so much stress, not so much work, no lack of time to do the things I still love to do. I was fired from my job, then they said that they mistook me for someone else. So, upon hearing that, I immediately quick my job. I have two weeks left and then I'm free. Free to work on school.
I am pleasantly unsurprised by how my school year's been going so far. I planned on it going well. Not so much stress, not so much work, no lack of time to do the things I still love to do. I was fired from my job, then they said that they mistook me for someone else. So, upon hearing that, I immediately quick my job. I have two weeks left and then I'm free. Free to work on school.
i dont want to write this...
Originally posted September 11, 2006
“To do or not to do?” This is the question I am poised with right now. I have a brilliant thesis ready and waiting to hand in tomorrow, but I have to come up with two more. "What to do?" I ask myself, as I lean back in my chair with folded arms, and a glass of chocolate milk in my hand.
After a few minutes of swinging slightting left and right in my chair, I find doing nothing is just as good as doing something if not better. So, rather than staring at this screen making the noise that only a straw can make, which signals "there's not enough chocolate milk left!", I shall come up with something.
Back to my thesis. I have decided to force myself to do something which I don't want to do, but I have grown accustomed to doing, which makes me wonder in the first place, "Do I honestly wish to not do another thesis that badly?" And you will see that in the end perhaps doing no additional thesis was better than doing one thesis at all.
“To do or not to do?” This is the question I am poised with right now. I have a brilliant thesis ready and waiting to hand in tomorrow, but I have to come up with two more. "What to do?" I ask myself, as I lean back in my chair with folded arms, and a glass of chocolate milk in my hand.
After a few minutes of swinging slightting left and right in my chair, I find doing nothing is just as good as doing something if not better. So, rather than staring at this screen making the noise that only a straw can make, which signals "there's not enough chocolate milk left!", I shall come up with something.
Back to my thesis. I have decided to force myself to do something which I don't want to do, but I have grown accustomed to doing, which makes me wonder in the first place, "Do I honestly wish to not do another thesis that badly?" And you will see that in the end perhaps doing no additional thesis was better than doing one thesis at all.
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